Abantu bashakana kubera impamvu zitandukanye, zimwe ziba ari nziza naho izindi ari mbi.Muri iyi minsi, abashakanye benshi baratsindwa kuko batumva neza impamvu n'amahame y'urushako ruhamye. Ibi bituma bashakana bashingiye ku mpamvu zitanoze aribyo bibangamira umubano w'igihe kirekire, Bigashobora nogutanga umusaruro mubi w'ubutane hagati yabo (Divorce)
Nta n'umwe ukwiriye gushaka atabanje gusubiza iki kibazo "Kuki?" kubitekereza hakiri kare, bizakurinda ibibazo byinshi birimo akababaro no kwicuza. Kumenya impamvu ushaka gushinga urugo bikurinda gufata icyemezo kibi.
Kubera ko ubumenyi ari ingenzi cyane kugirango insinzi igerweho, Ni ngombwa kumenya zimwe mu mpamvu zitari nziza zikunze kubaho, ndetse abantu bakazigenderaho bitegura kurushinga. Hari urutonde rw'impamvu 10, ni urutonde rushingiye ku byavuye mu bushakashatsi bwakozwe ku bashakanye benshi mu buzima busanzwe.Ubutaha tuzabagezaho izindi mpamvu 10, ukwiye gushingiraho ushaka.
Nyamuneka ibi bintu ntibizagusunikire gushinga urugo kuko uzaba uhubutse , uzaba wubatse urutazaramba!
kwihimura ku babyeyi
Wabyemera utabyemera, abantu benshi bafata umwanzuro wo gushaka bagamije kwihimura ku bayeyi babo aho usanga umuntu agira ati: "Ndambiwe gutegekwa no gukora ibyo bambwiye byose, bityo ntabwo ngomba kuguma hano ngomba kujya kubaka urugo rwanjye" Abandi bahitamo gushaka bitewe no kurakarira ababyeyi babo kuko babangiye incuti,iyi nzika ishobora gutera umuntu gukora igikorwa cy'ubupfu agashaka atabanje kubitekerezaho.
Kurongora cyangwa kurongorwa utesheje agaciro ababyeyi ni igikorwa cyitaboneye. Amarangamutima arengeje urugero ni mabi cyane (umujinya n'inzika) kuko ibi byangiza umubano w'igihe kirekire. Imico ikenewe kugirango umuntu agire icyo ageraho, ni urukundo, ubwitange, n'ubudahemuka, iyi mico igira uruhare rwa kabiri inyuma y'impamvu nyamukuru itera umuntu gushaka.
Guhunga urugo rutarimo umunezero
Abantu bamwe bakurira mu bihe bitameze neza cyangwa se bigoye murugo, aha icyo baba bashaka gukora ni uguhunga. Hashobora kubaho ihohoterwa rishingiye ku mubiri, mu magambo( gutukana no gutongana) n'ihohoterwa rishingiye ku gitsina. Umubyeyi umwe cyangwa bombi bashobora kuba barabaswe n'inzoga cyangwa ibiyobyabwenge. Abana bo muri urwo rugo bafata umwanzuro wo gushaka ngo bahunge ibyo bibazo,ariko siwo muti kuko ari uguhunga washaka ahandi ho kuba ariko ntushake utabanje kubitegura.
Kwitekerezaho mu buryo bubi
Ikibabaje abantu bashaka biturutse ku mitekerereze itari myiza aho umuntu yumva ko ari hasi cyane kandi ko ntacyo ashoboye. Ko akeneye gushaka kugirango agire agaciro, Uru rushako ruba rufite ikibazo. Mubyukuri iyo abantu babiri bahuriye mu rushako bafite icyo kibazo cyo kwitekerezaho nabi bibaviramo ingaruka mbi.Kwitekerezaho nabi ntibikemura ikibazo na kimwe ahubwo Twese tugomba kubaho twihesha agaciro mu mibanire yacu na Kristo, mu ndangamuntu zacu nk'abana b'Imana bakundwa, Abaragwa mu Bwami bwayo
Gushaka kubera ko wakomeretse
Abantu bakomerekeye mu rukundo aho usanga barahemukiwe cyangwa barababajwe n'abakunzi babo ba mbere. Mu rwego rwo kubikemura no kwihesha amahoro, bahita bihutira gushaka kuko babonye incuti ya kabiri nyamara ntibareke ngo babanze kureba kure no kubitekerezaho. Uru rushako ntiruba rwatekerejweho ahubwo biba ari uburyo bwo koroshya ubuzima no kwigaragaza ukundi kuntu, ngo babone ko uyu muntu nta kibazo afite. Uru rushako ni rubi kandi rutera ibibazo.
Gutinya gusigara wenyine
Iki kintu gikunda kugira ingaruka ku bantu bombi umugabo n'umugore, ariko ku bagore niho gikabije kurusha ku bagabo. Muri iki gihe cy'iterambere, Abakobwa benshi batangira kugira ubwoba iyo bageze ku myaka 30 batarashaka. Aha niho intekerezo zitangira kuba mbi yibaza ati"Abo twiganye barashatse, incuti zanjye zose zarashatse none nsigaye ngenyine ni ikihe kibazo mfite?"Abagabo nabo iryo kosa bararikora aho usanga batinya kuba ingaragu ubuzima bwabo bwose. abagabo bamwe barongora abagore batababereye. Iyo umuntu arongoye kubera gutinya gusigara wenyine bituma uhura n'ibibazo by'ahazaza he.
Gutinya kwigenga
Mu muryango ababyeyi baba bafite inshingano yo kwita ku bana babo no kubaha ibyo bakeneye. Abana bakura batunzwe n'ababyeyi babo, akenshi binjira mu rushako biteze ko uwo bashakanye azabitaho kandi akabaha umutekano umwe bahoranye. Aba bantu iyo bageze aho kwigenga, barasenyuka kuko batigeze biga uburyo babigenza . Iyo bahuye n'ibibazo byo gukemura cyangwa inshingano batigeze kugira mbere,bamwe muribo ntibashobora kubyitwaramo neza.Mubyukuri nta muntu utinya kwigenga uba yiteguye kubaka urugo. Urugo rwiza rusaba ko abashakanye baba batekanye kandi bashoboye kwigenga badateze akazaza ejo .
Gutinya kubabaza undi muntu
Ibi bibaho cyane ko umuntu afata icyemezo cyo gushaka atabitekerejeho cyane. Habaho igihe umukobwa n'umuhungu bakundana bakaganira ku bijyanye no kubana hanyuma umwe muri bo akaba atabyumva neza. Kubera uko babanye umuhungu ashobora kubwira umukobwa ati:"Nuramuka unsize nzapfa", "unsize nziyahura" umukobwa kubera kwanga kubabaza umuhungu akamwemerera ko babana.Akabikora ngo akunde amukize ya ndwara benshi bita ngo ni 'indege'.mwene uru rushako narwo ntamahirwe yo kuramba rugira,birangirira mu kwicuza.
kugirango utababaza uwo mwari ishuti mu buzima busanzwe
Si byiza na gato gufata icyemezo cyo gushaka, ukabikora hagamijwe kwirinda kubabaza uwo mwari inshuti kuko bigira ingaruka mbi ku buzima bwanyu bw'ahazaza.Kuba umuvuzi cyangwa umujyanama w'umuntu ntabwo bivuga ko mwashakana . Haba igihe umusore aba agira inama umukobwa runaka, uko agenda abikora kenshi bigatuma uyu musore afata umwanzuro wo gushakana n'uyu mukobwa, kugirango ajye ahora amuha iyo servisi. Mubyukuri urushako ntabwo ari iki rwakagombye kugenderaho. Guha inama mugenzi wawe wabikora hanyuma ukamureka agakomeza ubuzima bwe. Mubyukuri urushako rwiza ni uruhuza umugabo n'umugore nk'abafatanyabikorwa bangana, bombi bakuze mumarangamutima kandi bafite umutekano mu mibereho yabo no mumiterere yabo.
Kubera gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina
Hari inyigisho ishaje ivuga ko abantu bashakana barabanje gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina . nyamara iyo batasezeranye byemewe n'amategeko biba ari icyaha. Imibonano mpuzabitsina yemewe gusa mugihe abantu bashyingiranywe. Kwifata ukirinda imibonano mpuzabitsina niyo myitwarire yonyine ikwiye kubantu batashyingiranywe, cyane cyane abizera Kristo. Ni ubusambanyi iyo mubikoze mbere yo gushakana, ibintu bikurura umuvumo muri urwo rugo rwanyu.bishobora no gutuma muharurukwana vuba, kuko muba mwaramenyanye. Igikurikira ibi ni ugucana inyuma bikazabyara gatanya.
Kubera gutwita
Gutwita ntabwo ari yo mpamvu nyamukuru yatuma umuntu ashaka. Nubwo bimeze bityo, gutwita byonyine ntabwo ari impamvu ihagije yo gushyingirwa. Urebye, gutwita ni gihamya y'imibonano mpuzabitsina gusa. Ntabwo byanze bikunze byerekana ko hari urukundo hagati y'umugabo n'umugore wasamye umwana.Ikosa rimwe ntiryakagombye gutuma umuntu atakaza icyizere cy' ubuzima. Hari abantu benshi basamye kandi babyarana abana batashyingiranywe nyuma baza gukora ubukwe bwiza n'abandi. Muri macye gutwita ntabwo byatuma ushaka igitaraganya ahubwo wakwihana Imana ikakubabarira, hanyuma ugategereza uw'isezerano .
Umva inyigisho yose
Daniel@Agakiza
Source:www.Monroeglobal.com
